Abon

Sixth grade language arts page Problem-Solution Essay School PLay Test

Was scared to read my forensics story, "The Story of the Three Little Pigs as Told by A. Wolf".

__**Outline for Staying Organized**__ 1. Our lockers ar too small 2. The 8th graders take up to much space 3. They don't like us 4. We don't have enough room for our books 5. Our books always fall out of our locker

**__Prewriting__**

What do you get when you half to share a small hallway and small lockers with 7nth and 8th graders? A big problem. Thats what. The situation is that the lockers are way too small, and the 8th graders dont move their big butts so we cant get to our lockers! We are aways late for class, and we get in trouble! Oh, no! Not the big bad 8th graders! Us, the innocent little sixth graders!

I think the solution to this problem is to get bigger lockers, and have one side of the hallway for the 8th graders, one side for the 7nth graders, and one side fro the sixth graders! Its as simple as pie! Think about it, nobody would be late for class, nobody would get trampled over, and nobody would get a detention for being late. Its as simple as that!

You can ask anybody in the sixth grade! We are all sick of the stupid 8th graders! This one time, an 8th grader left open her locker and i banged my head on it! Almost everybody in 6th grade has experienced a locker injury caused by the 8th graders. If they would just close the lockers, there wouldn't be any injuries...but no. They half to have it there way.

The 7nth graders, well i expect them to be mad. They got the lockers this year, and we did too. They had to wait one extra year. But that doesn't mean that you push us in to the lockers and be bullies! But like i was saying, I would be extremely mad too. But not that mad. There aren't really a lot of 7nth graders that are mean, but there are some, and they are the worst.

I think that Mrs. Lengell should talk to the 8th graders about "sharing" the lockers once in a while. And maybe help the 7nth graders with their anger issues. She doesn't half to but it would be nice. Maybe I should even teach them a lesson. That is what I think of the lockers.

//You definitely seem to angry! Who is your audience? other students or teachers?//

__**Ideas**__ 4 Your problem needs to be clearly stated. It got lost in your angry words. __**Organization**__ 3 The introduction and conclusion are not correctly written. __**Word Choice**__ 4 If your essay was intended for other students, you used good word choices; if was intended for me, you should have chosen different words; __**Voice**__ 3 Although you sound angry, you were not very specific in your last two paragraphs. Use figures of speech and diaglogue. __**Fliuency**__ 5; __**Conventions**__ 2 Many, many spelling mistakes, numerals should have been written, usage error at the end of the introduction. **Total points = 21 = C**