Hobbitmico

.__The Goblin Cave__
=== Have you ever been in a cave being chased and attacked by goblins? Well, if you have then you probably have had a feeling just like Bilbo, Gandalf, and the dwarves. They went into the cave to get through the mountain, and they found them selves in a bad situation. Bilbo found a creature named Gollum. Gollum is a very creepy creature, which lives in the cave with a ring. Bilbo takes the ring and tries to escape, but finds himself surrounded by Goblins! Bilbo slipped the ring around his tiny little finger and, Whoooosh! He was invisible! He found his way out of the cave and escaped all of the goblins coming after him. Gandalf and the dwarves had escaped too. Tolkien uses this conflict in the cave to introduce the ring into the story, which I think will have to be used a lot in the rest of the book. So, if you are ever in a cave being chased by goblins, I would recommend finding a magical ring and using it to become invisible and escape.( Pages 76-100 ) ===

Hi Mic! I like that you chose the conflict with Gollum. I can hear your voice when you said: "slipped the ring around his tiny finger and, Whoooosh! He was invisible!" That was great. Many of you used a question for an introduction, but it sounds kind of funny to me. I am sure you know that has never happened to anyone, so it doesn't sound right when you begin a response that way. Rather, you could say, have you ever been all alone and very VERY frightened? Now, THAT is something a reader might say yes to. But... attacked by goblins? Get it? We'll work some more on good leads. Good effort. Keep writing! You have a great voice. ~ Mrs. Best