Clan

Sixth Grade language arts page Problem-Solution Essay School Play TestCL

outline for staying organized: 1 Get new folders. 2 Use the same notebook for each class. 3 Have a clean locker. 4 Remember to take all of your materials to each class.

1st paragraph:

Some people find it really hard to stay organized at school. The lockers are very small and we only have two minutes in between classes. We have so many books which all need to be covered. Mine always seem to slide everywhere! Since the lockers are on top of each other, the eighth graders seem to get there first and we have to wait to get Into our lockers. The hall is really crowded because there are sixth, seventh, and eighth graders changing classes at the same time. Sometimes kids are kneeling down, and some are just standing talking to their friends. These things can really slow you down. It is really hard to keep everything organized. (Don't use "you")

2nd paragraph

A lot of diffrent materials are required for each class and in order to make sure that you won't be late, you should bring all the materials for the next class. If you bring the materials for two classes it will still take a long time because all of the books are so heavy. We are on the bottom and it hurts to kneel down to grab you'r books. We also get a lot of papers and it is hard to keep all of them. Don't use "you")

3rd paragraph

I think that if I get new folders it would be easier to keep all of my papers organized. If we used the same notebook for every class we would never forget our notebook. We could keep the book for the class in the room and we would never forget anything. I think that it would be easier to stay organized if our locker was organized. The problem is that we do not have time to clean our lockers except on Thursdays. (What is the topic sentence of this paragraph?)

4th paragraph

Sometimes I forget homework because my locker is so messy. We have a lot of homework and if we forget something it is not good. When I put my books in my locker I just throw them in there and they all pile up and it is hard to find stuff (word choice?). I think that if we have a designated time each day before lunch, people would be more organized. It might also help if we had more time at the end of the day to gather things we need, we would not forget our books.

closing

It is really hard to keep things organized, but I hope I can improve. I think if we try to fix the problem and try some of the solutions we might be able to stay organized and remember all of our homework. Also, if everybody had two lockers nobody would be late and we could put our books for the morning in the top, and our books for the afternoon in the bottom. I think that if everybody was organized people would get to class on time and everybody would be happier!

Ideas 5; Organization 5 Good job! Word Choice 4 Use more specific words to create a better effect; Voice 4 Use specific details, strong verbs, dialogue, and figures of speech to create better voice. Fluency 3 There is not much variation in the length of your sentences; Conventions 3 Biggest problem is using second person (you). Also some spelling and punctuation problems.

Total= 24 = B