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Sixth Grade language arts page

Problem-Solution Essay School Play TestMH

Rough Draft

Matthew Hartlieb La/Reading 3/28/12 Rough Draft: No Shorts in spring

What would it be like without shorts? Come to our school to find out. At our school we have the problem that we can't wear shorts until April.

When we are outside for recess it is to warm too wear pants. In a very unusual warm winter we could not wear shorts on a seventy degrees day. It was crazy. In March, we set a record for the warmest week ever and we couldn't wear shorts the whole week. Even worse, we had an out of uniform day in March and we had to wear sweatpants on an eighty-one degrees day. These situations make every one angry.

The reasons for this problem is that people take advantage of it and wear impropriate shorts. The teachers make us then wear pants because of that problem. The teachers do not like when boys wear their shorts below their knees and when the girls were there shorts above knee length. I think it does not really matter how long the boy’s shorts are.

The solutions to this problem is do not were shorts below your knees if your a boy and do not wear shorts above knee length if your a girl. It is as simple as that. If you want to get yelled at by a teacher then don’t do what I said before.

The conclusion to the solution is it will make most of the whole school happy again. No one will be mad or get yelled at by teachers if you you were shorts to school. I wish we had shorts in spring.

Ideas 3 Description of problem is clear; solution is not; Organization 5 good job following the structure of five paragraph essays; Word Choice 3 Clever comparison using shorts length, but other places like the beginning of the third paragraph your writing is not clear; Voice 4 Details are good, but descriptions are confusing; Fluency 5; Conventions 2 Multiple misspellings Total = 22 =C+ 4 Details are good, but descriptions are confusing; Fluency 5: Conventions 2 Multiple spelling errors.